Friday, February 15, 2008
Shut up and listen. No seriously - try it!
Okay, so for those of you who really know me. I'm a talker. My brother says, "Amanda, you have so much to say, you should really right a book. " But, it's in that tone, like "Can you please shut up now." Well, I think I found out how to control my natural tendency for gab and blab. In class, we learned how to be an active listener. And, I can't tell you how much of a difference it has made already. I know my boyfriend appreciates it. hahaha. Well, to try it at home for any talkers out there, you just ask one question and fight the resistance to ask more questions, but just listen to them. Acknowledge their comments, try to not make any judgements. And, try to avoid closed end questions that would give your like a "one word, sentence, or yes/no response." It's challenging, but if you want to get to know someone even better or want to know if this is a person who would want to get to know better, you should try it. Well I'll be curious to hear how it went for you out there. Communication is healthy. And, after all these years, I thought talking was the cure. But, I think listening is even healthier - it just requires practice. It's fun when you get it to work and don't worry about the awkward moments of silence. It ironically helps. So, go on - try it. :)
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5 comments:
Hi Amanda..I think we're yin & yang of each other in this regard. But I can completely relate to you but, just in a different manner.
I commend you in trying a different approach in communicating. I know it's hard when you naturally like to talk, but I think it makes one grow as person when you experience something different form your relative norm.
As you know I'm a very very introverted person...where I just like listening to people instead of talking and drawing attention to myself. Too quiet and reserved at times..maybe so..to the point where most think I'm elitist and aloof; but, I guess we have to try different things to grow. Don't know if I'm there yet.
I'm just very good at listening, analyzing and the written form for better or worse.
Hi Amanda,
Who, you, talk too much?...no way, smile. Communication is good. And, your point is well taken. Remember, the anagram for "Listen" is "Silent", one assest to communication.
Love, Hambone
I think I am ...you see I started the statement at "think I am" more of a listener than a talker. However I think that a common mistake that many people are guilty of is listening while doing other activities. Active listener does not mean the TV is on, your writing notes and your listening to a person talk. You sometimes need to give people your undivided attention or you may come across as if you are not engaged in their conversation. Try to be cognizant of what you are doing while listening to people and whether or not it gives them the wrong impression.
Rai, That is so true. I am guilty of it or was. I brought it up in class because Diego always catches me in it when we're on the phone. I think I can master the two. But, I totally agree with you that undivided attention is necessary for effective communication.
you still need to show me and skye a photo of your brother :D
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